Well, when I was a kid I'd take a trip
Every summer down to Mississippi'
To visit my granny
and her antebellum world
I'd run barefooted all day long
Climbin' trees free as a song
One day I happened to catch
myself a squirrel
Well I stuffed him down in an old shoe box
And punched a couple of holes in the top
And when sunday
came I snuck him into church
I was sittin' way back in the very last pew
showin' him to my good buddy Hugh
When that
squirrel got loose and went totally berserk
Well what happened next is hard to tell
Some thought it was Heaven others
thought it was Hell
But the fact that something was among us was plain to see
As the choir sang "I surrender all"
The
squirrel ran up Harve Newman's cover-alls
And Harve leaped to his feet and said
"Something's got a hold on me" YEOW!!
The
day the squirrel went berserk
In the First Self Righteous Church
in that sleepy little town of Pastagoola
It was
a fight for survival
That broke out in revival
They were jumpin' pews and shoutin'
" hallelujah"
Well Harve hit the aisles a-dancin' and
scremin'
Some thought he
had religion others
thought he had a demon.
And Harve thought he had a weed eater
loose in his fruit of the looms
He
fell to his knees to plead and beg
And the squirrel ran out of his brithches leg
Unobserved to the other side of the
room
All the way down to the Amen pew
Where sat Sister Bertha-Better-Than-You
Who'd been watching all the commotion
with
sadistic glee
Well you should' a seen the look in her eyes
When that squirrel jumped her garters and
crossed
her thighs
She jumped to her feet and said:
"Lord have mercy on me"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress
She
begain to cry and then to confess
To sins that would made a sailor blush with
shame. She told of gossip and church
disention
But the thing that got the most attention
Was when she talked about her love life
And then she started
namin' names
Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved
And twenty-five thousand dollars got raised
And fifty volunteered
for missions in the
Congo on the spot and even without an
invitation There were at least five
hundred re-dedications And we all got
re-baptised whether we needed it or not.
Now you've heard the Bible story
I guess
how he parted the waters for Moses to pass
Oh the miracles God has wrought in this
old world. But the one
I'll remember 'til my
dying day is how he put that church back on
the narrow way. With a half crazed
Mississippi
Squirrel
